Me First

Jodi Redelinghuys
2 min readDec 12, 2020

I am still getting used to the warmth of your love

before it came in waves

of fleeting heat

in between many colder fronts

and it used to pave ground beneath my feet

above a foundation coming undone

and it used to be a conditional love

an expecting love

a disappointed love

and it was never enough

because I never took note

of the tough

type of love

I offered up

to myself

a silver platter

with a canope variety

of one

hard ass, imbalanced

bite of some

half-assed love

for the one

who’s ass is the only one

you’re here to back

and push to become

the ass you’ve always dreamed of

and until I asked my tough ass why

it found it so hard to be kind

to me

and why

it would often find

it hard to be

my number one

priority

I didn’t see

the damage I was inflicting

just by not making certain I was picking

me first

always

me first

every day

me first

in every way

and I am finally showing up

for me

first.

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