I am trying my best to control the sway
of my emotions
lately each day
has been a back and forth motion
of big swings
and rolling tides
in between big feelings
I don’t know if I’ve swum too far beneath
or if I’m reaching nearer to healing
I feel I’m being self aware
but then overspilling overthinking
and sinking
deeper
into a darkness
I, myself, am creating
and further from the light
I worked so hard to break in
the light that is still taking
so much of my energy
so much of me
and yet, I’m down here
where the light cannot be seen
where I cannot see me
where I cannot believe
where love cannot dream
where hope cannot breathe.